Get comfortable with change.
Gbenga Rufai
Happy New Month Friends,
This week we had a chat with Gbenga Rufai. Gbenga works as a senior analyst for a provincial government in Canada. He is also the founder of Liberty Career Academy.
In this letter, he talks about transitions, foresight, and change.
It's a long read, but it's worth your time.
Enjoy!
What was the turning point for you in your life/career choice?
My journey has been an interesting one. It’s not been a straight line for me in terms of the dreams I had as a kid and what I saw around me. As a kid, I had more than one profession I wanted to be in when I grew up. At one point, I wanted to be a naval officer because I grew up in an environment where senior naval and military officers lived. As a little child growing up in Festac-Town, I saw them preparing to work in their whites in the morning, and it was amazing to watch but i got talked out of it because I couldn't swim at the time. Later, I also wanted to go into performing arts; sometimes, I call it my alter ego. If I am not doing what I currently do, I’ll be doing something in the performing arts. I think I did pretty well as a kid but at some point, that also didn’t pan out.
My dad was a medical scientist, and I grew up seeing that. My parents saw I had a caring personality and believed I would do very well as a medical doctor, I also really wanted to be a medical doctor. I grew up reading medical books and the medical journals my dad had. Those were my punishments, so when I was making too much noise in the house, he would say, “go and pick up my medical journal and start reading”. I was growing up and getting ready to become a medical doctor. By the time I finished my junior secondary (as it’s called in Nigeria), I went to science class. I spent one term before something happened, and this was the first defining moment in my life.
I had finished JSS 3 and passed the Junior WAEC exam (as it is called). I got promoted and was in the science class, doing chemistry, physics,learning about scalar quantities, and vector quantities. After one term in the science class, the school suddenly returned and said, “well, Gbenga, we looked at your results again and found out you didn’t pass maths in your ‘Junior WAEC’”. I said, “how was that even possible? You said I did, and I was already in the science class,”. I went back home to my parents. Next day, my dad accompanied me to school to find out the problem. Coincidentally, the vice-principal he met was somebody with whom our family had mutual friends. She said you know what? We can give him an exception to continue and maybe retake it later. But my dad said something that day, he said: “he’s a young man; I need him to learn from his mistakes”. I couldn’t believe my ears, “What is this man saying?”
So, I had to leave Senior secondary school and return to JSS 3 after the first term, not just to retake the exam but to repeat the JSS 3 class, which set me back for one year. My friends were already in senior secondary school. I can remember that a teacher had called me then and presented me to the juniors (the current JSS 3 class) and said that “I’m sure Gbenga will pass his Junior WAEC in one sitting; he is a model student” Imagine the embarrassment of going back to that same class as a student, I almost felt like dying.
I returned to that class feeling humiliated; I felt significantly less of myself. But by the time I did Junior WAEC again, I passed. My parents expected me to return to the science class, and I told him I wasn’t going to science class again. He asked, “What happened?” then, I said, “I think I’ll do better in art class”, because by then, I had started to learn about government and literature and found it more Interesting. For me, it felt like being a fish in water, and that was the end of my dream to become a medical doctor. That was the first significant turning point.
That was the first experience of a major setback for me as a young boy, but that setback is what has led me to who I am today so, I don’t call it a setback. It was one year that helped me discover what my strengths really were. After secondary school, I went to college for a two-year business administration diploma. I found out I enjoyed things around ‘management’. It was easy for me, so I got employed in the bank after my National Diploma. I worked in the bank for three years, between 2005 to 2008. One of the things I learnt while working in the bank was that I do not want to be a banker. I knew I always enjoyed the performing arts. I watched people on screen like NTA’s Siene Razaq-Lawal and Ruth Benamaisia-Opia. These were the OGs of NTA back in the day, I also grew up watching Cyril Stober and Yinka Craig. Those were the faces and names I grew up watching and I also enjoyed reading the newspaper. Since I had always wanted to study mass communication as a teenager, I resigned from the back and returned to the university to study Mass Communication. As I said, it was not a straight journey.
At the Mass Communication department, University of Lagos, I was a broadcasting major. I was trained to say, “Hello, Good morning, this is the news at nine, my name is Gbenga Rufai, first the headlines”. By that time, I still knew that while I enjoyed broadcasting, a part of me really enjoyed things around management and administration. So, for most of the volunteer roles I did in school in faith-based organizations like CFC, UJCF, and RCF, I was found myself holding administrative leadership positions, which really helped hone my skills. Eventually, I had to decide between pursuing broadcasting or following a management route. I chose Human Resource as my career choice.
Remember, I said my parents discovered my empathy for people so a combination of my abilities and my personality helped me succeed as an HR professional. I loved Human Resources, but after some time, I left as I wanted to make societal impact at scale through public policy. Now I work in a senior analyst position with a provincial government in Canada. So, there has been that consistent transition. As I said, I enjoyed government as a course while in secondary school. I could wake up and go into a government exam and pass. I loved it, and I breathed it. I remember when I used to debate current affairs; while I was in University, I was also involved in debates. To make that transition into government, I returned for graduate studies in public policy analysis and public administration. All of these things were building blocks. All those different experiences that you call setbacks were things that ensured that I am doing what I do today and love what I do.
Transitions can be very scary because it feels like you are starting from scratch. So how did you find strength all through that process? Were you not scared of failing? Did you doubt that you made the right decision? How did you navigate those times?
To be honest, I have transited multiple times throughout my life and career. It is not a pleasurable process. I would not be sincere if I painted it as easy. It came with sacrifice; there were mornings I woke up and said to myself, “What are you doing? There were mornings people looked at me and said, “You’ve lost it. How do you go from resigning from your job in a bank to going back to start year one in a University when all your mates have finished the mandatory NYSC? and are gainfully employed? It doesn’t make any sense. Those were challenging moments, but one of the things that helped me through those processes is that I’m a firm believer in Christ, which has helped me. My faith in Christ has helped me to know that I am where God wants me to be. So, that is one major piece. It centers you. When all things around me give way, I lean in, I pull back into it... and I don’t make those decisions because I just felt like it. They were decisions that took time to consider, and I knew the implications. It came at a cost because, by the time I had finished university with my degree in mass communication, all my mates had forgotten they had gone to NYSC. I could no longer apply to entry-level positions because of the system in Nigeria. It was tough, but they were building blocks for me. Knowing this was the next thing I was to move into still speaks to that ability to evolve.
When an eagle gets to a particular point, it has to pick out all its feathers, which it’s familiar with, with its beak. So it’s like a rebirth process for me, but it comes with challenges. Of course, as I grow older, I don’t take too many of those risks anymore. But I know another transition could still happen. Another evolution will still come at some point. I must also acknowledge my friends and family who support me - my wife, family, mentors and friends are strong pillars. I also feel like it inspires many people to say if you could transit, I can too. There were scary moments, but there are moments I don’t regret at all.
When I left human resources to move into the public sector, it was another total leap, a very dangerous leap. Still, when I look back now, it was worth it. Beyond what I do in my 9 to 5, I also founded in 2012 an organization called Liberty Career Academy. I am currently the founder and president of the organization. It’s been around for a decade now and we are focused on equipping individuals with knowledge and resources required to succeed in their careers and life. That's the other hat I wear.
How did you deal with setbacks?
Setbacks always come, I’ve had all sorts of setbacks, but it’s not a verdict on my person and my competence; to me, it’s a feedback system. It is communicating something to me. You’re often better than what you’re struggling to get, but you sometimes don’t know. The position you want, you sometimes actually deserve more than that. So sometimes, setbacks come to reset you. They open your eyes to say, “Hold on a second, I thought if I could just get into any university for my master’s degree, it would be good, but I can actually get into Oxford. I deserve to be in Oxford”. Then the question is, who has gotten into Oxford? How did they get it, and what work did they put in? A setback does that to you; it opens your eyes to say, “Hold on, you’ve just been settling for less. You actually deserve more”.
Sometimes, you are struggling to get what you think you want, but there is an easy way to get it; you just don’t know. One thing that keeps people from setbacks is that they are always afraid. But knowledge reduces fear. If you want to deal with fear, increase your knowledge because the more knowledge you have, the lesser the fear. When your fear is so high, you don’t know many things because there’s a knowledge gap. But when you begin to increase your knowledge, your fear goes. Some will say there is always fear, but that will be a different kind of fear, not the fear of the unknown; it’s the fear of anticipation. You know the weight of what you are about to do.
When setbacks come, you need to engage with those thought processes and speak with good people. If you lie with dogs, you will get up with fleas. Sit down with people that inspire you. There were moments when I had setbacks, and I went to older people and asked, “when you were there, how did you feel?” When they shared their story, I knew I was normal because I had thought I was not normal. There were mornings when they woke up and were tired. You may think you’re alone and nobody gets you, but that is untrue. There is nothing you are going through that somebody else has not gone through, but how did they win and navigate? That is the answer you need.
There are times I would have to lean into people older than me, and people I consider mentors. Like, ‘man, this thing is not funny,’ and they say “keep going”, so I draw strength from that. I can't help but go back to the role of my faith in Christ; I think it’s highly pivotal. I zone in on it. It centers me. At that point where I say, “Lord strengthen me”, this is my faith I’m talking about here. There are people of other different faiths who have that; it’s their safe space. A setback does not define you. I don’t know of any great man on earth that did not encounter setbacks. If anybody can point to one great man on earth that got to where they are without a setback, I’d be pleased to meet them.
First thing to know is that the setback does not define you. I worked in human resources for almost a decade, and one of the things we say to candidates is that a refusal does not mean you are not good. Sometimes the hiring manager has to pick only one person, and three of you are competent. The thing that may just shift the needle for the chosen may be something so easy, something so little. It is not a verdict on you. It could just be presenting yourself in a better way. Take in the feedback, and figure out what it’s saying to you, is it that I didn’t read enough or prepare enough? For example, it took me a while to know how I absorbed knowledge best. While studying Business Administration at the Polytechnic (college), I would read, understand, and feel that it was retained, but apparently, it’s not. I would get into the exam hall, and I would struggle. But later, I found the best way to recall was to use the three Rs. I read, I review what I read, and I recall it. I review by making notes; as I make those notes, it stays. I recall by teaching other people, it stays stronger. I learnt that method, and my grades went up. The feedback told me I failed the course not because I was not smart but because my process of retaining and applying the knowledge was not working.
When those setbacks come, it gives you feedback. For example, there was a year I applied for a study visa abroad, paid the school fees and everything, and got a refusal. It didn’t make sense; I felt so bad. But I look at that process again with the benefit of hindsight. There were two major documents I didn’t attach because I didn’t know. So it was not a verdict that “we don’t want you”. It was a verdict that you were not meeting their expectations. So people should find a system that gives knowledge to you and ask, “why didn’t I get this thing” look for people who have done it before. Look for people who have gone through setbacks and listen to their stories. When I engage with young people, they often like listening to success stories alone; I don’t like listening to them alone. They are good, but I want to listen to things like, “what did you know? How did you handle your setback?” because that is where the real wisdom and the gems are. So when I meet great people, I ask, how did you handle the pressure? How did you handle refusals? What do you know now that you wish you knew then? Were there supportive people? Who did you have around you?’ Those are my thoughts about handling setbacks. The method might change, but the goal remains the same.
What was that one piece of advice that changed your life?
There are two. One was in 2005; I had just got my employment at the bank. I was excited. I was young, I was super stoked, like... this is great. I looked at the salary and was like, “omoo”, like we say in Nigeria, “I don hammer”. I went to see someone I would consider an elder brother and mentor. He said, “Gbenga, I’m happy for you”, and I said, “thank you” then he looked at me and said, “Do you know that the salary you are very excited about will become the amount you’ll use for lunch in the future. You won’t feel anything about it in the future” I couldn’t process it in my head. Today, he is right. I look back, and that amount that looked so massive, now, with all sense of modesty, won’t take my family on a decent dinner outing. Then, it was massive. The second advice came earlier in 2003; I was in college. I got bypassed for a position that most observers felt I was due for. It was painful and a bit embarrassing because everyone felt I deserved it. Then somebody also, an elderly person, called me aside. He said, “The people who get rewarded in God’s plan are not necessarily those who have positions; they are those who put in the work and consistently deliver results”. What he was simply telling me, in essence, is that your success and reward in life will not be about the titles but the value you produce. I have never forgotten them. I have not seen this man in many years but I am forever grateful. That advice has never left me. It is not about the positions and the titles you hold; it is the value you bring or offer that brings you rewards. That forever changed me. I don’t fight for positions; people bring it without me having to say I want. As you deliver value, rewards will come. I've received much advice, but those two have never left me. Kings will bring the reward to you. Just keep on giving value; you will get your reward. Put in the work. It may not come quickly. People will come to look for you. Somebody will whisper your name in rooms where you are not there. Add value; be more focused on giving value than fighting for positions.
What are things you’ve done over the years that made a big difference for you?
In terms of lifestyle, of course, it's littered all over my story, one thing is that don’t get too comfortable where you are, get comfortable with change. No matter how comfortable I am with change, when I get to the point of change, I’m like "Oh goodness me, this is going to happen again" but it has always ended on a positive note. I don’t get comfortable with my position. I don’t tie my ego or my being to my position; I learnt that from one of my bosses, Dr Atanda. I don’t define myself by my position because it can change tomorrow. You can take that position away from me but who I am at the very being of myself stays. Another thing is the ability to see ahead. You must be able to anticipate in the next ten years, the next five years, where you think things are going to be. If I stayed in the bank, the highest I probably would have been would probably be a bank manager. I don't like to be reactive, I like being proactive, to think three steps ahead. Where is this ball going to land in terms of my decisions today? People don’t like to play the long-term game. I'm still learning it every day, to anticipate the next five, or ten years. The people that rule and shape the world are people who understand this. They can play the long-term game; they can anticipate that their actions of today may backfire and ruin everything in the next ten years. The career that you have now, what would it look like in the next 10 years? In the next ten years, would you still be aptly doing this? I say this also to reflect on my career switches, it's not a sudden action. For example, when I was going to move into public service, it was a three-year plan. I knew it was not going to happen in one year or two and that was how it played out. So you can pace yourself, plan and not mess things up. I think one of them is also the ability to anticipate. For instance, if you want to get into tech in the next two to three years, what are the things you need to be consistently doing? So you break that goal down into milestone. You break your milestone down into task and you break down your tasks into the actions you need to take. Your action becomes your tasks; your tasks become your milestone. What people see is the goal, they don't see the action, they don't see the task, and they say "how did he just do it". No, he just didn't get there. I ask myself what will this look like in ten years? Let us now walk backwards to where we currently are then we now move towards it. In the next twenty years, you want to build AllforDevelopment to become a global organization, what are those things that you need to position? Any smart footballer on the pitch always gets into position. Those that score goals get into position. They don't go after the ball every time, because they know that the ball is going to come. For some positions, it takes you four years to get into them, but you just suddenly want to get there in one year. It doesn't happen that way, the ball will go to another player. Some positions that you want to get into will require you eight months of consistently doing ABCDE. You just don't run there one month at a time, you begin to gradually get into position because you know it's going to come. In more economically developed nations, when you look at people who plan towns, nations and cities, its the same principle. In the next ten years, the planners know that there will be population growth and they plan to build a school, a field, and a shopping mall there. To an observer, you'll think it’s a fallow land, but it's not just a fallow land, they are already planning for it.
What good news/thing in the world is being overlooked?
That’s a very easy and tough question at the same time. I trained as a broadcast journalist, and a basic definition of news was ‘when a man bites a dog; it’s news; when a dog bites a man, it’s not news’. In essence bad news sells. It’s a bit tough, but I think one thing to celebrate is young people. It’s tough because you’re literally bombarded with so much negativity daily. The 24-hour news cycle bombards you with all sorts of negative news. But I think one thing to celebrate in the world is the potential of our young people. They live in a world that often makes them feel nothing is big about them, but they are the future. Though many will disagree with me, I still consider myself a young person.
I work with many young people, and their potential is outstanding; it is changing the world. It’s one thing to celebrate. They have their frailties like every one of us does. They have their weaknesses, but the potential of our young people to transform the world in some of the fastest ways we’ve ever seen and make it a better place is worth celebrating. When I was growing up, there was no social media; my daughter would even ask me, what time do your watch TV? I said well, the TV only came on at 4 pm, and by 10 pm, it was off. She said it didn’t make sense to her. We only watched cartoons between 4 and 5; by the time it was 5, 6, and 7pm, it was adult programming, and that was all. I really need to say that such progress to 24 hour programming is worth celebrating. I think the potential of young people, young adults, and teenagers is immense. They are the future, and I think they are worth celebrating. Yes, they’ve had their shortcomings, but I don’t like to focus on people's shortcomings. I like to focus on their strengths because what you focus on also determines how you view things. So if you keep focusing on people’s weaknesses, you will see them as weak. If you focus on their strength, you will see them as strong, so I choose to focus on their potential. They are superior to us not by their age nor by their experience but by the potential that they carry, so I want to acknowledge that superiority that they have. This untapped and undiscovered potential is within them.
What’s something that gets you excited and optimistic as regards the work you do currently?
My professional experience has been in the private, public and not-for-profit space, so I’ve had professional experience around those three places. The impact I see makes me excited about my 9 to 5. I’m always able to see a clear line of sight between the decisions and actions I take as an analyst and the impact on the day-to-day life of people. I can see the impact of my analysis and the different files I work on. Yes, by the nature of my work, the public doesn’t get to know me personally, however when I see it implemented, and announced in the news or when it becomes a major government policy decision, I know I worked on that file. It’s rewarding to see it transform the lives of people, people I probably would never meet. I want to grow old knowing that I played a role in transforming the lives of people through public policy.
The second one is Liberty Career Academy Foundation, the not-for-profit I had the privilege to have founded and lead. I see the impact on the life of young people. One of our major target demographic in LCA are those between the ages of 14 and 35; those are the people we primarily work with. We work with other segments, but those are our core. It gets me excited every time I see them come to share their success story. It gets me excited to see where they were when they came and where they are now and see them become people that also pay that forward. Some are now volunteering; some are becoming mentors. Some of them are also showing other people the way. It’s fulfilling. Those things really excite me to see how lives are transformed. I am very passionate about people and helping people become the best version of themselves.
If you had the opportunity to travel back in time to see your younger self, let’s say your 15-year-old self, what would you tell him?
If I sat down with my fifteen-year-old self, I would tell him to do it afraid. It’s okay to be confused. Like I told you, there are many careers that I want to do. I would tell my fifteen-year-old self that it’s okay not to know what you want to become but also what you don’t want to become. It’s okay to dream. Where I am and the things that I’ve been able to achieve, were things that looked so far; they didn’t look possible. The people I’ve met and I’ve sat in rooms with. My fifteen-year-old self would have doubted that there was a way I would have gotten to this point. I come from a humble background. We were not poor, but neither were we rich. Where by God’s grace, I’ve found myself today, my fifteen-year-old self would have doubted the possibility. I would tell myself that it’s okay; your dreams are valid. Don’t let anybody talk you out. Go after it.
What is the one piece of advice you would give to someone just starting (in your space)?
Take Responsibility. Delete an entitlement mindset. Nobody is coming to get you, and nobody owes you anything. Be reliable. Unreliability does more damage than incompetence. A reliable person that we can count on shows potential for teachability on a position. You can be competent but very unreliable; when you are unreliable, it will harm your career badly. Be reliable - you said you will do this, so show up and get it done. The third one is never to stop learning. I am a life long learner still reading and learning new things.
What are you reading or listening or watching currently?
I love documentaries. I’m not a fan of fiction. I’m currently reading a book by Steve Farah called “Finishing Strong” . The summary is that only one out of ten ever finishes strong. It’s a staggering statistic. As I grow older, I want to finish strong.
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