How are you?
A goodnews chat with Toluse Dove Francis
Hello,
This week, we had a chat with Toluse Dove Francis, a mental health practitioner, and consultant.
He shared his journey from biochemistry to mental health, and how listening to the unsaid words of people is important.
Enjoy!
What was the turning point for you in your life/career choice?
I am not sure which I am to answer first or answer both. I will answer both.
About the turning point in my life, that was in 2014.
When I got back from Service year, I lived with a friend who happened to be a psychiatrist back then at Lagos State University Teaching Hospital (LASUTH) and he was very observant a friend. I had lived with him for a while and he had noticed how I would return from work, say Hi to everyone, get into my room and never step out till probably the next morning. So one day, he crossed me as I left his room to ask how I was doing.
I assumed I was fine until then because no one really asked the question “how are you” expecting a genuine answer.
That question alone took me back to the time I lost my mother and some good people in my life dating back to 5 years. After some conversations and what would seem like a mental health first aid, I thought to myself “how many people out there are in my situation without someone to indeed listen to them tell how they are”. This was the turning point in my life because that was when I moved beyond advocacy to providing care for people. I began to get interested in listening to traumatic experiences of others a helping them come out of whatever they thought was a challenge
About my career, it was the day I got my first TV interview and my father sent me snippets from abroad. I felt like I had arrived because when I began, my father didn’t understand how his son who studied Biochemistry was now heading towards mental health.
What was that one piece of advice that changed your life?
Hmmm.. I have had loads of them..… It is difficult to pick one but I will try. It is the advice I got when I began my work in mental health.
Try to listen to the unsaid words of people.
This has helped me a great deal.
How do you deal with setbacks?
Setbacks have come so many times this journey. What I do is to first retreat, cry or write down how I feel and then ask myself what next. As a way to find out what next, I spend time to find out why I experienced the setback.
What good news/thing in the world is being overlooked?
The fact that technology will never take away jobs from humans. Several humans are scared that in some years to come, some jobs will become obsolete but I think the good thing is that the AIs and Robots will need humans in one way or another.
What are three things you have done over the years that have made a big difference?
Starting my podcast, The Rising Heroes w/Toluse. I have gotten tons of messages from people about how the podcast has helped them.
My book Beyond Blue: A step by step guide to coping with grief and loss, preventing and managing depression.
Practicing as a therapist. Each day I tell myself I am quitting, I see another reason not to. The testimonials and the feedback bring a tear or two.
What's something that makes you feel hopeful for the future right now?
I am hopeful that someday, mental healthcare will become affordable for all.
What is the one piece of advice you will give to someone just starting (in your space?)
Once you are sure and convinced, go after it no matter what the reality says.
What are you reading or listening to currently?
I am reading two books actually: Mindfulness by Carol Dweck Ph.D. and You are too good to feel this bad by Nate Dallas
To read more about Toluse Dove Francis' work, see here
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