Slow Down. Give Gratitude. Take Responsibility.
The Goodnews Chat with Chine and Chuba Ezekwesili
Happy New Month Dear Friend,
How do you do?
Today’s letter is from Chuba and Chine Ezekwesili. The Ezeks Twins (Ezekwesili Twins) are Co-founders of Akanka. Akanka is a venture studio on a mission to co-create experiences that make the world a happier, kinder, and more creative place.
In this letter, we learn about the Framework for Intention, how it expresses itself in their journey and their lives together, and how it makes us better people.
Slow down and Learn.
What was the turning point for you in your life/career choice?
Chuba: A very pivotal moment was at the funeral of our grandma. An interviewer had asked us a question about the impact of our grandma, which created an opportunity for us in that moment to reflect on her impact.
Our grandma was a very supportive lady. She helped with the little that she had. We wanted to continue in that direction. We always ask that, whatever it is that we are doing, can we ensure that we impact people on whatever scale we can? The other lesson was to realize that we’ll all go at the end of the day. So, it is crucial for us to do what matters and not what other people think is essential. Because if you can do that right, anytime you have to go, you are good. You can live your life without any regret.
Chine: I think even before that happened. We had designed the framework, and it was instrumental in our relationship. We used it, and it made the relationship between us better. For us, that was symbolic, so we decided to test it on other people. We tried it on our younger brother, with whom we didn't have a good relationship, and our relationship became better over time. Now he works with us! So, it became clear that this was something we could use to make life better for other people, even beyond us. And as Chuba mentioned, our grandma was a person who could make life better for other people around her. Wherever she was, there was a community that kick-started then by virtue of her presence, and she will look after that community. Now, we had something that could make other people's lives better. What does it take to bring that so that their life is also designed to be better? So, it is all connected.
What was that one piece of advice that changed your life?
Chuba: I think what you see people do impacts more than what you see people say. And, I will say that our parents have been an example of people whose lives match their advice. Our grandma, our mom, and our dad see people as people. There is no alienation, like "I am above you, or we are different ethnic groups. It was normal for our security guard from the North to eat from the same pots as us. We saw them interact with people…as people, and that was key in shaping who we grew up to become because we could be anywhere, either buying corn on the street or at the presidential villa, and we'd treat everyone with the same level of respect and confidence. So the important thing is that wherever we are, we are not haughty. Also, we try not to be just ourselves, but the best version of ourselves.
How do people who are not graced enough to grow up with examples around them find examples that they can learn from?
Chine: By taking responsibility. Those kinds of people you are looking for will only be found in places taking responsibility. That's the truth. It is beyond talking. What are those people doing that’s changing the world? What can you do to be a part of it? These are the questions to ask yourself. An example was when Mom started something called FixPolitics. If you want to be around people taking responsibility for fixing politics in Nigeria and Africa, it helps to be a helping hand for them. Often, young people show up, and they are like, 'I want you to mentor me', and you’re like “You see this work that I am doing, maybe you should join me so that while I’m doing it you can learn.” Taking responsibility is vital if you want that chance.
How do you deal with setbacks?
Chine: Acceptance. Acceptance is key. If you face setbacks, the first is to accept that it has happened. When we go through setbacks, and then we enter into denial mode. We are like, “Why me? Why is this happening to me?” Acceptance is accepting that it’s you that it’s happening to. Then the question is, what next? How do you take responsibility? How do you slow down and have gratitude for that setback? What can you see in that setback that you can be grateful for? A setback could mean it's not your time. It could be because life is trying to prevent you from going down somewhere you would have been in trouble. There are multiple reasons why setbacks happen and if you learn to slow down, give gratitude for lessons that could come out of it, and take responsibility, then you’ll become more resilient.
How do you get to the point of Acceptance?
Chuba: Sometimes, you might need to vent. When you hit your hand with a hammer, you don't just go like, Oh, it has happened. The initial reaction is to scream after you feel the pain. It’s fine to vent, but people get stuck in venting a lot of the time. Take the time to vent, but don't dwell in it. If it repeats itself and you are venting again, you need to ask yourself, what should I be doing differently? That’s what it means to take responsibility.
Chine: A lad during our AfricaNXT session said something illuminating about the different steps of the journey. He said that as you go on a journey, you must accept three things.
First, the vehicle might break down. Second, there might be traffic. Third, things might go smoothly. It’s a crucial way of accepting that it might not work out before you start an action.
People apply for jobs, get rejected, and take it personally. It sucks to get rejected, but it helps to accept that probability that you might not get in…unless you are the only person who applied - and even then you might still get rejected! A helpful way to spur acceptance when things don’t work out is to realize that it didn’t because it’s not a part of your storyline. We all have our storylines in life and it’s likely part of your story for that thing not to work out in that moment. What you do as a character in your story is learn from your rejection.
Failure is data.
Your only option is to learn from it.
Chuba: Once you can slow down enough to see your story and learn from that moment or period in your life, you move forward. Life might be telling you to go improve your skills or it might be telling you to redirect your energy into something else that you’re better at and are more likely to experience faster progress. There has to be a lesson. The critical part of acceptance is taking what you have out of the situation. In slowing down, you accept all these lessons, and then you can give gratitude. Then with the lessons, you can take responsibility for what you need to do differently. I remember the year I applied for my Masters in Economics and every single school rejected me. It sucked, but I accepted that it had happened, so I stepped back to figure out what I could do differently. My scores weren’t high enough and my personal statement was weak. I took a year to fix those and the next year, I got into Yale. After graduation, I was going through my mail, and I saw that I had applied for the same program at Yale before, and I got rejected.
Rejection is data. It’s left for you to decide what you will do differently.
How does the framework help heal when you are dealing with life-altering situations?
Chuba: I feel like Ayo, the founder of Stand to End Rape, is an example of such a situation. She is a survivor of sexual violence. She decided that she didn't want it to happen to someone else, and she was going to do something about it. She turned pain into a purpose to help other people and is honored for her work today. That is taking responsibility. It doesn't erase what has happened but it reminds you that you have more agency than you think.
So, first of all, acceptance. Second is recognizing that you’re still alive, which means you get to still write your story. I admit that it’s tempting for some to feel like ending your life is easier.
Chine and I have separately been there before. What we’ve found helpful is asking ourselves
“What can I do for myself and others that can take me to a place where I am better?
This is why everyone’s purpose is strongly correlated with helping others. It begins with acceptance and continues with a desire to help oneself and others.
What good news/thing in the world is being overlooked?
Chuba: For us, as we get older, I think we start to see the value of family. Love really doesn't get old. There’s a fervor to japa, which is understandable, but we’re grateful for family back here. When you’re fortunate to have a good family, spending time with them as you all get older matters a whole lot.
Chine: One good thing is air. We can't see it. We don't recognize it. We don't think about it a lot, but without it, we are gone.
What's something that makes you feel hopeful for the future right now?
Chine: The Future is a blank slate. You can create the future you want to see in it, which keeps me hopeful. You can decide what you want to see, and by being intentional, you can make it happen. I think that is beautiful.
Chuba: When we converted our walkway to a garden, a lot of people could have seen the place that we were in at that time, as what it was, which was a concrete walkway, but we saw the future. Even when we talked about it, they looked at us like, “these guys are mad. Why are these guys so excited about concrete?” They could not see the future we saw. We knew that if we could commit the time and energy into it, it would turn out as we had imagined it. The thing about designing the future, especially in nature, is that it always turns out better than you imagine. It is always magical. But it requires that you don't put your mind on the bad news. You can't use bad information to build, except you look at the bad news and see how you can create a solution to the bad news. I have seen some startups born out of creating solutions for a bad thing that happened. Someone learnt to slow down and see a future where a solution to their present problem existed - then take responsibility for creating that solution.
What would you say to your 13-year-old self if you had an opportunity?
Chine: This too shall pass. When you do an exam, you are worried about whether you passed, and then another thing comes again after that. There is always a new level. It is to make sure that you are always in a place of intention. That means slowing down to figure out the life around you and the things you are grateful for, and learning from your obstacles and failures. You will fail, but what is essential is that you learn from it because failure is data. Once you treat failure as data, it changes how you look. You need to take responsibility for all the things you are grateful for at whatever level you’re currently at.
What is the one piece of advice you will give to someone just starting (in your space?)
Chuba: Start! Just start! Move from ideas to doing something about it. A lot of the time, people get stuck in the idea phase. I remember writing an idea half a year ago, and we are just starting it this year. There’s no need to overthink. Just start! This is one important lesson that we have had to learn. It’s the only way to truly understand what will work and what won't, especially when you are young. Young people are keen on being on the Under30 lists, but that does not determine life. Take your time to explore. Try different things. Just make sure that you do what speaks to you and what brings value to you and others - not just what everyone else thinks is cool.
What are you reading or listening to currently?
Chuba: I was checking a book that might be helpful for young people. You Are Awesome: How to Navigate Change, Wrestle with Failure, and Live an Intentional Life by Neil Pasricha. I am also reading The Innovation Stack: Building an Unbeatable Business One Crazy Idea at a Time.
Chine: Atomic Habits by James Clear and Crows of the Yellow Stream by Odili Ujubuonu.
Final words…
If you see a Nike ad, it’ll likely say, 'Just do it.’ But the question is, How? Use the framework of intention.
Slow Down
Give Gratitude
Take Responsibility
Every great athlete slows down to see the future they want. They give gratitude for their bodies and they take responsibility for practicing everyday to get to that future. Nothing stops us all from doing the same with our lives. It’s about learning to be more intentional. So if there's any question you have about being intentional, start with the Framework.
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From AllforDevelopment.
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